I was really in the holiday mood, but something happened and now I'm not. I don't know what it was, but I'm feeling a little Scrooge-ish tonight. I love seeing my son marvel over the decorations. My lovely wife has been gifted, over the years, a collection of Christmas houses that have a Dickens theme. They cover the mantel and entertainment center. Lights twinkle, little motorized figures dance inside tiny windows. There's even a windmill that really goes around.
But still, something's missing for me. I can remember this feeling from years before. I don't like to think on those years. Holidays were my favorite AND least favorite time of year. I have always liked giving and getting gifts, but for years I had no one to give to. Now, I have a family and, yet, the feeling returns.
Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm stressed. Maybe it's because I wasn't able to put decorations on the tree myself (someone beat me to it). Maybe it's a lot of things. Somehow, though, all these decorations just feel like new paint on an old car.
I'll let you know if this passes. I hope it does, because I like to feel merry when merry is what's called for. It's hard always swimming upstream, though. You get tired after a while...and sometimes, you just stop paddling and let the current carry you in the wrong direction for a while. Maybe that's what's happened. I'm resting myself for the journey ahead.
One more thing...where's our angel?? It took us three Chistmas' together to find the right angel and now she's missing! Our tree has no...hat!
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